Growing
up in a third world country I always had the sense that America
was bigger and better; especially when it came to education. As such I had really
high expectations for my children’s formal education. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would end up teaching my own kids I may have laughed at you. What a crazy notion!
And yet, that's exactly what we decided to do. Well kind of, but not really. What we actually stumbled upon is something even better. We homeschool just 3 days a week and our children are in a classroom environment 2 days a week. It's hybrid. And yes, we really do have the best of both worlds!
After one year of pure homeschooling a kindergartner and 1st grader (with a toddler in tow),I knew that homeschooling 5 days a week was not sustainable. At least not for me. I was tired. Tired of everything, but mostly I was tired of homeschooling defining everything about us. And right when I was ready to wave the white flag, my friend Laura approached me about starting this 'best of both worlds' model of education. I was skeptical. But that all changed one evening as Laura and her husband Sean sat in our living room and shared a vision for what this might look like.
Amazingly
within 6 weeks, by God’s grace alone, we had 7 students from 5 wonderful
families for our pilot year.
We transformed the basement of a home into a school room and patched together the resources we needed: borrowed curriculum, used furniture, we painted a wall with chalk paint and put up a map and some hooks. That was just 6 years years ago.
Today that 1st grader is in middle school and thriving. His sister is fast on his heels, and we just love who she is becoming.
And yes we still have that last born, no longer a toddler, but the one who is now our first grader. And we look at our children and we smile. We smile because of their love for learning. We smile because we were the ones who actually had the joy of teaching them to read. We smile because they still love being together. We smile at their creativity (boredom does wonders).
We smile because of the hours we have spent together. We smile because of the amazingly deep friendships we have made with others journeying with us.
We smile because our children really are still a little more naive and innocent that the kids around them. And most of all we smile, or perhaps we laugh, because we could never have imagined the educational journey we ended up taking with our kids, not in our wildest dreams, but boy are we glad we did!
PS: Grace Preparatory Academy has moved on from it's humble beginnings and now meets in a wonderful church. We have seen 38 children and their families impacted. Follow us on Facebook
“He is going to be shocked we no longer want him.”
“Come again?” I asked the college assistant coach seated across from me at lunch. “You flew across the country to meet him, and now you won’t recruit him anymore?”
The coach had recently stopped for a day in another state to check in on one of their prospects, before arriving at my school in Florida.
“He is a great talent, he certainly has the skills needed to play for us,” said the coach. “Sadly, he just won’t fit in well with our culture. It’s sad how many kids we come across every year that we cannot recruit, and it has nothing to do with their ability.”
As the Head of Leadership at IMG Academy in Bradenton, FL, I have the privilege of having conversations with college recruiters from major universities every week. One of saddest topics we discuss are stories of top high school talent being passed over because of behavior off the field. High talent and low character is a poor combination.
I have heard these stories enough to feel compelled to write this so that it may be passed onto every high school athlete that dreams of playing in college. There are a lot of talented athletes out there, but talent alone will not land you a coveted roster spot. Your talent may get your foot in the door, but it takes a lot more to hit the field at the next level.
The recruiter is not there to see you tackle, throw, bump, spike, pitch, catch, hit, shoot, or pass for the thousandth time. He already knows your stats. He has already watched your highlight film and read all the press clippings. He has likely seen you play. What he is looking for are called intangibles, the things that cannot be easily measured, but make all the difference.
Of the countless conversations I have had with college recruiters, here are the most common questions recruiters are searching for answers to decide whether they should recruit you or not.
What are you doing when you think no one is watching?
Image courtesy Kennesaw St Football.Recruiters are not always wearing their school clothing. That guy in the corner of the weight room talking to your coach? He might be a recruiter on an unscheduled visit. That woman in the stands taking notes? She may be writing down the behavior she sees to report back to her head coach. The more talented you are, the more people are watching you to try and see what flaws you are hiding. How do you treat your teammates, coaches, parents, and officials? Do you make eye contact with your coach when she is talking? What is your body language like when things are not going well? This all matters, a lot!
Are you one thing in person, and another person online?
Social media is the microphone of your character, and whether you agree or not, you will be judged by what you post. Please, pause and think before you post! If you wouldn’t want it on a billboard so your grandma could read it, you probably shouldn’t post it online.
Colleges put a lot of research into your character, especially the high-profile sports such as football and basketball. Most schools have teams of people who use very creative tactics to comb through your social media feeds.
For example, I heard a story recently about a prospect who used a lot of racial slurs on his Twitter account. This recruit was shocked because his Twitter account was set to private. However, a few weeks prior to the recruiter’s visit, this prospect accepted a request to allow an account with a profile picture of a pretty girl. That account was actually owned by a guy named Chris. Once accepted as a follower, Chris was given access to that prospect’s entire feed. Chris also discovered that the recruit had a habit of ridiculing teammates online. The recruiter thought that prospect had the talent to play at the next level, but talent alone gets you nowhere.
Who are your biggest influences?
You will become like the people you hang out with the most. This includes who you follow on social media. Take a look at who you are following on social media sites, and in life, and unfollow those you do not wish to be associated with or become like.
Last year, I spoke to a coach about a 5-star baseball recruit being watched by all the major universities. That was until a news story came out about all the accounts this recruit was following on Twitter that promoted sexual assault towards women, drug use, and alcohol consumption. This recruit also had a Twitch account where he would play certain games that glorified abuse towards women and was recorded cheering when an explicit event would happen during the game. Not surprisingly, he ended up going to community college and getting kicked off his team halfway through the year.
Ask yourself, “If I were a coach, and I looked at the list of people influencing me, would I recruit me?” Be honest with yourself, because your potential future coach will be looking very closely at your influencers.
Are you a great teammate?
I coached varsity football for a number of years and had some decent talent under my supervision. I remember one recruiter visiting from a big school in Southern California to take a look at our star linebacker, maybe the best at his position I ever coached.
When the recruiter arrived, he was wearing boots, jeans, and a t-shirt. Nothing about what he was wearing gave away where he was from or connected him to his university. As I spoke to him in the corner of the weight room, he watched one particular athlete with great intensity. If he were to tell the story, this is how it would go:
“When I arrived at the school, I was taken directly to the weight room where our number one linebacker prospect was lifting with his team. He did not know who I was because I was wearing regular street clothes. I do this during all my visits because I don’t want to influence their normal routine just because I’m watching. I am sure the amount of weight he was squatting was impressive, but watching him squat was not what I flew 400 miles to observe. One thing I noticed was during every set, he had a spotter standing behind him just in case he needed help. This teammate was yelling encouragement during the prospect’s last few reps and helped him rack the bar.”
“After all three sets, sadly, I watched our recruit sit down and pull out his phone instead of returning the favor of spotting his teammate. His coach asked him to put his phone away after his first set. He did. He then pulled it back out after the second set. I stopped his coach from intervening again. We look for guys who can be trusted to do the things after being told once. During the third set, he finally put his phone down, but only because he saw his teammate struggling to finish his last few reps. This teammate was there for the prospect every rep. The prospect, however, did not spot him or encourage him, putting himself and those around him in danger. I began to question his ability to be a great teammate, and if he would fit in with our team. Then, when the workout was over, the coach blew the whistle to start cleaning up. The prospect headed straight for his cleats and walked out the door, never even making eye contact with me, and leaving his teammates to clean up and rack the weights. Definitely not a good fit for our culture.”
Do you make a good first impression?
One of the first things I teach all my athletes is the art of the handshake. Firm grip, eye contact, be fully present while you introduce yourself. (Click here for an example of how I do it.) I had a group of NBA prospects in my leadership class recently. I had been working with this particular group a few weeks so they knew how to enter a room, command presence, shake hands, make eye contact— all things that will set them apart from the hundreds of other NBA draft prospects.
A new guy showed up to campus and was put in my class. When he walked in, he gave me a handshake that could only be described as “a dead fish.” He mumbled his name and never really made eye contact. The class booed him and told him to “try it again,” pointing towards the door. He was confused and shocked that he was booed when he walked into the room. He came back in, did the same thing, and was again booed by his peers. Here was a phenomenal athlete, tall enough to have to duck when he entered the room, and he was getting booed for how he entered. I walked out with him the second time.
“Why are they booing?” he asked.
“Because you suck at entering a room.” I could see the confusion on his face. Then I saw a smile as he realized class had begun.
“How are you going to stand out if you enter a room like everyone else? And what’s with this handshake? Give me your hand,” I said.
I showed him a proper handshake and I encouraged him to walk across the room with purpose, introduce himself clearly, and look me in the eye when he shook my hand. Then I walked back into the classroom, shutting the door behind me.
The large man destined for the NBA walked in, smiled, and walked across the room with purpose. He shook my hand, looked me in the eye, and introduced himself clearly. The room full of other large men erupted in cheer.
You are always being watched—from the moment you get out of your car to the moment you leave the parking lot. The more talented you are, the more people pay attention. Give them a reason to remember you off the field, court, mat, or pool.
Do you “sweep the shed?”
The most successful sports team in the professional era is not the NY Yankees, or the Boston Celtics, or Real Madrid, but a team from a far less known sport. It is the New Zealand All Blacks in rugby, who have an astonishing 86% winning percentage and numerous championships to their name. In the outstanding book, Legacy, written about the All Blacks (the most winningest professional team in the history of modern sports), author James Kerr discusses one of their core values that epitomizes the selfless attitude.
You see the goal of every All Blacks player is to leave the national team shirt in a better place than when he got it. His goal is to contribute to the legacy by doing his part to grow the game and keep the team progressing every single day.
In order to do so, the players realize that you must remain humble, and that no one is too big or too famous to do the little things required each and every day to get better. You must eat right. You must sleep well. You must take care of yourself on and off the field. You must train hard. You must sacrifice your own goals for the greater good and a higher purpose.
You must sweep the shed.
After each match, played in front of 80,000 plus fans, in front of millions on TV, after the camera crews have left, and the coaches are done speaking, when the eyes of the world have turned elsewhere, there is still a locker room to be cleaned.
…by the players!
If the New Zealand All Blacks are sweeping their locker room, then why aren’t you out there helping younger players, picking up cones, arriving first and leaving last, and setting the example for others? Are you leaving the uniform in a better place, or counting the days until they retire your jersey?
I once asked a recruiter what he thought of the prospect he came to watch.
“Remember when they were doing pushups?” he asked. “He led the team by counting, but he missed pushup 13 and pushup 18. He just didn’t go down, even though he commanded the team to do so. I am not sure about this guy, honestly. Out of twenty plays, we can’t have him taking off two because he is tired.”
You are always being watched, so sweep the shed.
Do you show a sense gratitude?
How you treat the people who take care of you matters. The coaches, the trainers, the ball boys—they are there to serve, but they are not your servants. True leaders serve those around them. When the trainer shows up, don’t bark, “I need tape!” Instead, ask for it. Say “please.” Say “thank you.” Clean up after yourself. When you are grateful, and treat others with the respect they deserve, people take notice. More importantly, it’s the right thing to do.
And always remember, whether you are online, on the field or in the classroom, someone is watching.
As president Calvin Coolidge once said, “nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.”
Your reputation is who people think you are; your character is who you are when you think no one is paying attention. Someone is always paying attention, and every recruiter has countless stories of passing on a talented athlete who failed the character test. You must be the exception. You must be extra-ordinary. That’s how you get recruited.
This article was originally written by James Leath for Changingthegameproject.com. Sign up for weekly Coach Note here.
I'm 44 years old. Not quite sure how that happened, but it's true. And while I may not be going through a mid life crisis (or maybe I am) but I am restless. I find myself squirmy and questioning a lot of things right now.
"How am I doing as a mom and wife? Am I being intentional enough? Am I devoting enough mental space and prioritizing my time to this high calling? (after all succeeding in other things and failing at this is not an option!)"
"Should my vocation be primarily focused on raising my children? And if yes then am I even doing that?"
"Am I honoring my limits enough (after all I am not 20 anymore)? Or am I maybe honoring my limits too much?"
"Is what I do outside of the home good and right? Enough? Too much? Purposeful?"
"I am soon to be a mom of a teenager! I feel like I am STILL trying to figure out this whole parenting thing. Oi!"
"What do I want to be doing in my 50ties (6 years from now, yikes!) as I move towards empty nesting. What should I be doing now to prepare myself for that season? Should I even be doing much of anything right now to prepare myself? Extra time is not really a commodity I have right now."
"I am tempted to not play it so safe, to do something crazy! But what?"
"And ..... should I even be asking all these questions???
Thankfully I have some time today to take these questions out of my swirling head and pen them down. Perhaps they will find a temporary place to park. Stay put for a bit. I stop and pray and think some more and then the thought occurs to me ... "By golly you have been gifted with some amazing women you admire and who are at least a life stage ahead of you. Why not sit down and process some of this with some of them over a good cuppa tea."
So I jot down a list of names. I come up with 15. Fifteen women that I love and admire. Most in their 50ties and 60ties who have raised wonderful (albeit not perfect) children, they love their husbands and are thriving. I pause for a moment, thankful, truly thankful, for the gift of these women, who are a treasure to me. And I determine it's time to go on my mid life quest with them and ask them this loaded question:
"How did you come to your own vocational clarity when you had school aged children? What did you do in that season to prepare yourself for your 50ties and 60ties? And what did you do to launch your children successfully into adulthood?"
I invite you to join me as I share some of what I learn from these amazing women. After all some things you just cannot find out by googling!
Passover is finally here! And so is the warmer weather!
There is so much I love about Passover: welcoming friends who have graced our table each year and new ones too, the fun and the laughter, the pride I feel when my children chant the 4 questions, setting and decorating the table using my china, pulling out the Lenox Seder plate and Elijah's cup that belonged to Garrett's father, Robert's freshly made horseradish that is not for the faint at heart, paging through my children's handmade haggadah's and singing to the Maccabeats. It's magical!
I also definitely love the way Passover
transports Garrett. He takes a trip down memory lane and remembers how
his father used to lead their family Seder. He literally smiles all day
long, reminiscing, and at the end of the Seder we all loose our
inhibitions or perhaps it's that we all have no other choice but to join
him in Adir Hu, singing at the top of our lungs. It's magical!
But what I love most about Passover is that it takes me back to my Oma Rose's kitchen and the fun we had cooking and baking together. Hands down she made the best matzoh ball soup (her secret was to use the chicken fat for the matzoh balls); her chopped liver was a feast for both the eye and your taste buds and her flourless nut cake sure beats American macaroons
any day. Her homemade gefilte fish was something people still talk
about. So this Passover as I flip to my familiar recipes that were
handed down to me, I pause and remember the legacy of an amazing woman
who shaped my life in so many ways. And it's magical!
Traditions, memories and yearly rhythms of the familiar are such a gift. They connect the past to the present and remind us that we belong. That we are part of a history that takes us all the way back to Egypt. And we celebrate the fact that God delivered our people, that He delivered them out of slavery and bondage to Pharoah and into the Promised Land. That they "passed over" from death to life and we celebrate the fact that He still redeems and delivers us today.
In a world of Pharoah's; Hammen's; Hitler's and Hamas we celebrate the fact that Passover is God's way of showing His power and victory. Their plot to eradicate the Jewish people and thereby call God powerless has not and will not prevail! And for me this is very personal. My grandpa Kurt
lost his entire family in the holocaust. All but an aunt through marriage perished. He was the only survivor. His mother snuck over the German/Belgium border, with gold coins sewn in the lining of her jacket to make the escape possible and he boarded a ship destined for Namibia. His family was to leave their vineyard and everything behind to follow him, should things get worse, but they never were able to escape.
Years later my grandfather went back to Germany to revisit his hometown and he connected with one of his parent's workers. She was actually able to share some missing details and before he left she handed him some things she had kept of theirs for him. Among them was a large, white, floral embossed, monogrammed, banquet tablecloth!
And just today, I went to the dry cleaners to pick up that very table cloth, because along with those amazing Passover recipes, that beautiful, now almost 100
year old tablecloth, was handed down to me! A tablecloth that no doubt was used in the home of my great grandparents, Carola and Bernard Stern on special occasions like Passover.
And so every year at Passover I cook my grandmother's Matzoh Ball soup, we make her chopped liver and flourless nut cake (sorry Oma I am buying the gefilte fish) and yes, I place that almost 100 year old white, floral embossed, monogrammed, banquet tablecloth on my dining room table as a reminder. As a reminder of the amazing people that went before me. My people. And I thank and
remember my God, who invites me this Passover, to celebrate the fact
that His story of redemption still prevails for me and for my children
and for generations still to come!
PS: Chag Sameach to my family and friends and may your Passover truly be magical!
My childhood in Namibia afforded me so many wonderful experiences. Living in a small coastal desert town, where the majestic and expansive Namib sand dunes meet the vast Atlantic ocean, is something that I now only truly realize was more than unusual. One of my fondest memories was when the Swakop River FINALLY reached the ocean, once every 7 years or so, mind you. It seemed our entire little town would gather at the mouth of the river at sundown. As children we would dig crazily, not too unlike a dog in ferocious search of a lost bone, to create tunnels that would eventually lead the trickle of water into the ocean. And as children we would cheer loudly, as our parents in the background would clink their bottles of local lager. Life seemed to stand still in that moment!
Come to think of it though, most things back home stood still, stayed the same. Rapid change was not part of our landscape. The sand dunes changed their shape over very slow periods of time, the
river bed remained dry, but for once every 7 years. The towns people stayed the
same, no one left, and the variance in the weather was but 5 degrees
between winter and summer. Yes life stayed the same, there was little
change and we liked it that way. It formed us.
But as God would have it, someone did leave.
And that someone was me. And now I find myself in a new country where things change at a rapid pace. People come and people go. Things move at a much much faster pace and yes the variance between summer and winter is not a mere 5 but 80 degrees. It's stark. And so it's no wonder that while sameness is something I crave, there is one change I am always desperately looking to speed up, if only I had the power to. That change from the dead of winter to the new life of spring. But it's a very slow and steady change.
It seems a lifetime til the little green tufts of grass finally start to appear, even while the cold white snow still covers the solid hard ground.
It seems a lifetime til the first shoots start to appear at the ends of brown lifeless trees limbs.
And just when I doubt it will ever happen, I see the first flowers: purple crocuses, yellow daffodils and the glory of the tulip that remind me life is not all cold and dead after all.
A new season is approaching. The new is emerging. Change is finally here! And while I wish I could hasten it, not too unlike a dog in ferocious search of a lost bone, I cannot. No matter how much I want to, I just simply cannot. And in fact even more profoundly, this slowness actually changes and shapes me.
And so also in this three-year season of transition we have been in, that all too often has felt cold, lifeless, like the dead of winter and that spring will never ever arrive, this Easter I am filled with a
renewed hope that the buds are opening and our spring is upon us! And so
I wait. Trust. Rest in my Lord for His
timing. Rest in the one who is able to bring life from the dead. Because
He is the one who brought me my Savior, the very one who died for me
and rose from
the dead so that indeed I can have a new life!
The ultimate transformation from the dead of winter to the glory of spring!
We have a pet bunny. Yes we really do. His name is Rascal and I think we should have thought twice before naming him that, because he is living up to his name! He chews on EVERYTHING and somehow my expensive shoes and handbags seem to be on his A list. Well those and now he has taken to destroying our couch. Anyone who has hung out in our home knows our couch. It's the most comfortable couch out there and more than that it was a wedding gift from my beloved grandparents who have since passed away. So all that to say this bunny needs to be trained to stay clear of the couch. Pronto!
Now have I told you that my kids adore our bunny? And Garrett and my stern discipline of the said cute bunny is not being too well received. "Ahh mom you are so mean!" And the fact that we have asked them to assist in the training of Mr Rascal by giving him a good swat on the rear and raising their voices with a firm "NO!" the moment they find him on the couch seems unconscionable to them. Zach's execution of that instruction this morning was a little love tap. And we tried to tell Zach that was actually not the most loving thing he could do for Rascal in that moment. Right now he actually needs a greater love. The gift of love found in firm discipline.
And would you know this gave us opportunity to talk to our kids about discipline being for their own good too. It's an act of love. "Really?! How?" You see kids Rascal might not like the firm discipline he is receiving, but he honestly does not realize he needs it. If he does not conform he will need to leave our home. And none of us wants that, least of all him. So this really is an act of love and for his own good. And come to think of it that's not all too different from the discipline you receive from us. Discipline is not a punishment, it's actually training. It's meant to change you. And if you think we enjoy disciplining you we actually hate it. It's the hardest thing we have to do as parents. We honestly would rather not have to dish out that "swat and raised voice", but we actually believe it's the most loving thing we can do for you. To train you to make better choices and to help you conform for your OWN GOOD is the most loving thing we can do for you.
And yes we don't expect you to thank us for it, but we do believe it's probably the most unappreciated gift of love youwe will ever receive from us.
"No discipline seems pleasant
at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of
righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11
"My child, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the child he delights in." Proverbs 3:11-12
Rascal would do well to heed the advise in "Peter Rabbit"
