Why the Panthers could take a lesson from the Patriots

A year later I reflect on last years Patriots' win in the Superbowl and I smile. What a game! And for tonight we are focusing a little more on the yummy food we will be eating than on who wins. My family will always love the Patriots and here is one of the main reason why this Namibianmamma is so glad that her son's a PATS fan. 

Because believe it or not I care a whole lot about how players perform right after a great defensive play, after a touchdown or during post-game interviews. That's what really matters to me. I probably care about that more than the victory itself (don't tell my son I said that). And why? Because my sports fanatic son is watching you. And while he probably will never be a pro football player, if he is going to be spending that much time watching football, he had better be getting something more than just the enjoyment of the game out of it. 

           

     

More than anything I want my son to be a mensch, a person of character. And for that to happen he needs good role models. And while I am so thankful that his greatest hero happens to be his daddy, an amazing guy, I know that his sport’s heroes are also shaping him. And I am quite satisfied in the sports heroes he has found in this team. These men are stellar! They are humble, they are fun loving and play as a team and celebrate as a band of brothers. The post-game interviews impress me. This team honors one another, they think the world of their coach, they never take glory for themselves, it's always a team win and they never speak badly of their opponents. It just never happens. And while I realize that that's what's expected of them by their franchise and that it's no doubt an internal fight for them each time not to speak of their own accomplishment, they do not give into that impulse. Not even undrafted rookie Malcolm Butler, with his incredible game winning play, spoke of his accomplishment in gloating terms last year. 

And yes while they still do a victory dance here and there after a great play, it's rare and it's not that over the top either. OK maybe Gronk, the fun loving party animal is the exception, but somehow he manages to pull it off. And I am not sure why the over the top victory dances get under my skin so, but I can't stand it. I find it so prideful. It's such an over focus on the individual player and "their" accomplishment.  "Look at me, look at how great I am!" Is this not a team sport after all? And in doing it they also cut down and demean their opponent. Ugh. It's just gross. 

So to the New England Patriots I say thank you. Thank you for being a bunch of guys I am happy my son gets to emulate. And yes I am sad you did not make it to the superbowl. And let me tell you for a diehard rugby fan that's quite a confession to make!

A little sluggish the day after last years Superbowl

Readying my heart and home

This is a year of transition for our family. And a significant one is coming up in 11 days (wonder whose counting) when I will be dropping my kids off at James Russel Lowell Elementary school.  After 5 wonderful and at the same time challenging years of homeschooling this mamma needs a break. I am thankful for these words of advice I received when I first started homeschooling, "Your children only have one mom. Anyone can educate your children but only YOU can be their mom. To the extend that you can do both great! But if you every find you cannot do both then let someone else educate and you be their mamma." So that's what I am going to do.

I look forward to someone else getting on my kids case about handwriting, a period at the end of a sentence and dreaded math (where my kids math abilities have seriously surpassed my own!) And I will seek to invest in their hearts instead. Especially that of my tween boy who, in a very age appropriate way, is starting to pull away. I look forward to a more intentional season of attempting to love my three kiddos well and to invest into who they are becoming.
 
And rather than surfing amazon for second hand curriculum  I am on pinterest looking for ways to organize our home to ensure a more smooth morning routine. Relaxed mornings is something I know we are all going to miss!!

   

But hopefully the advice from friends and my pinterest projects will help to reduce the chaos just a little. For some reason I anticipate the morning rush being the hardest change for us all. But we will see if laying out clothing the night before, and these simple breakfast ideas from facebook friends will serve us well. And then there is the hair brushing of my girls with regular tears, I find myself thankful for my sons buzz cut. 

 

But there is also readying our hearts to new relationships and so we have had fun at an ice cream parlor with one of Daliya's class mates and her family. What a great family!  It was so fun to laugh together and be with another family who are considered "resident aliens" to the USA. And yes that is what green card holders are called.  We have loved getting reacquainted with a family who lives just houses away and we are thrilled that our boys can walk to school together and share a class together! Just yesterday our neighbors son spontaneously knocked on our front door asking for a playdate and I was smiling.  And last week we were at a sprinkler park for a kindergarten meet & greet. And amidst awkward first time introductions we got to get a little glimpse of the wild and wonderful 5 year olds starting school for the first time with our equally wild and wonderful Ilana.

Opening our Zuckertuetten last year

Gifts can be so much fun

Helping my kids process the nervousness of change has also been important and so we have talked a lot. Prayed together. Celebrated the amazing teachers they each got. And as the anticipation of the start of school creeps up we have a wonderful tradition that I grew up with called "Zuckertuette" (literally meaning sugar bag). A German tradition of a bright colored cone shaped "bag" that is filled with school supplies, fun treats and yes candy. My kids cannot wait to get theirs but they will need to wait another week or so.

And in the mean time I am still trying to think of how to incorporate prayer, Bible reading and a general spiritual climate into our day when my kids will not be around nearly as much. But for that I am thankful for the advise of a wise mentor and trail blazer who suggested that breakfast time be a time where I hold off on my own breakfast and use that time to read from the Bible to my kids and pray for them. I tried it this week and it was actually a really meaningful time of discussion.

I am also processing all the truly fun and exciting extracurricular activities out there and how to respond to my children's desire to participate in them. I know that I will need to be saying no to some; after all one of  our Smith family values is that we seek to be "A loving, joyful, secure and encouraging family where we prioritize family and faith over friends and activities"

On that note I will end my morning time of blogging and will get off my computer and enjoy one of those leisurely mornings with my kiddos while we still have them :-) Here's to a few more days of Summer and to a wonderful new year of transitions!

Smith Family Values

  Smith Family Values

*     A vital growing relationship with God, living a life            

      pleasing to Him, and maintaining fellowship with

      His people.

*     Choosing to be thankful in all circumstances.

*     Valuing people over money, character over

     reputation, pleasing God over pleasing others.

*     Cultivating a life of humility, servanthood,

     patience, kindness, honesty, courage, and

     self-sacrifice.

*     Living a modest life materially and being

     generous with our money, possessions and time,

     considering others needs above our own.

*     Practicing hospitality keeping an open home,

     welcoming guests no matter the inconvenience.

*     A loving, joyful, secure, and encouraging home,

     where we prioritize family and faith over friends

     and activities.

*    Living at peace with one another, never

     harboring anger, committed to being reconciled,

     always asking forgiveness, and extending grace

     when wronged.

On Letting Go

This morning our home and my heart feels a tad empty. We just dropped Zach off for his first 2-week away camp. He was ready but I am not sure I am. It feels like a rite of passage.  Going away by yourself at 10 years old (well OK almost 11). And for that long with no opportunity for me to even check in? No contact at all for 14 days! Half a month!! What mom even agrees to that? The packing list suggested writing supplies but this mamma knows her boy and that paper and pen would be untouched and would be taking a nice round trip. So there will be no calls and no mail, no news at all. But be assured my son, I will be here; waiting and praying with anticipation.

And while I know we will miss one another, I am actually really excited for him. This is a dream camp for Zach.  It's called Summer's Best Two Weeks  and their mission is to build Christian character through competitive athletics. Two weeks of soccer, football, basketball, volleyball, hockey, ultimate frisbee, octathlon, swim meets, canoe meets, track meets and let's not forget basketball. All these will be taught by college athletes in a two week long "friendly" rivalry between the Galations and Romans. A group of about 300 kids! By a lake in what looks like the most beautiful surroundings. 

There will also be sailing, a zipline, kayaking, a high ropes course, trampoline, a climbing wall, a blob, archery and an overnight wilderness trip thrown in. Can you say a slice of heaven for my sports fanatic son. And can you say "I think this kid will have no problem falling asleep every night, even if he is not in his own bed and is sleeping with a cabin full of kids all (but one) of whom he will meet for the first time today." And at home there will be an empty bed and a quieter home and we will miss you! But be assured my son, I will be here waiting and praying with anticipation.


My hope is that my son will not only have a blast but that his character and faith will be formed in a significant way. He is right at that age where what mom has to say is not always met with all the acceptance I would like. And that's part of entering the preteen years and I get that. But I care too much about who he is becoming to not want others to have voice and influence in his life. So I am thankful for the camp counselors he will have, who will be a new voice of influence. And I take encouragement from the fact that some fine people I know who, unlike me grew up in church, would say that Summer Camp had the biggest impact on their character and faith formation. And so there may be a little less influence I now have on my son, but he is walking in the footsteps of some wonderful godly people I desire my son to emulate.  So while I may not be able to always talk to my son about God and faith, I can always talk to God about my son and his faith. And so be assured my son, I will be here waiting and praying with anticipation.

And I realize this is not only a rite of passage for my boy it's one for me too. I am learning what it means to start to let go.
 
Just yesterday we got to spend the 4th of July with friends who have a little baby. A sweet little boy. And as I watched my friend nurture and care for her little one I smiled. She was tucking him into his stroller hoping he would go down for the night so that we could enjoy the fireworks together and just watching her in action made me smile. She kept a very close watch on him making sure he was falling asleep.   Once asleep she blocked those tiny delicate ears from the loud bangs of the fireworks and I smiled once more. I smiled because all the while I was having flashbacks of when my boy was a baby but I also smiled because here I was, trying to get that now big boy, to snuggle in my arms just a bit and watch the fireworks together before our fortnight apart when there would be no tucking him in at night and where I would not be there to protect his ears from hearing things he ought not to be hearing, BUT ......

know this my precious son, we may be apart and I may be learning what it means to start to let go, but you can be assured I will always be here for you, waiting and praying in anticipation for the man you are in the process of becoming!

My soon to be 11 year old son!

Yours truly at the same age!

Zach holding his baby cousin Salo

Summer has come in more ways than one

This is officially the first week of summer and after a hard winter here in Boston I have to tell you I am ready for this new season that is upon us!  And it's a new season in more ways than one for us.

On Saturday my trusted minivan took me along a path I had traveled 5 months ago to  Place of Promise to visit someone who has become extremely dear to me by the name of Charis.* I first met Charis and her son two summer's ago when she moved in next door.   Our sons are the same age, just 10 days apart in fact, and it was through them we actually met since they were hanging over our mutual fence chatting. Charis came over to introduce herself to us and right away recognized Garrett. She had been impacted by his ministry at the spirituality group he leads in the substance abuse unit of St Elizabeth's Hospital where he serves weekly as a volunteer in what is probably the highlight of his ministry each week. And as that connection was made and Charis inquired about where Garrett is a pastor I wondered what God might have in store for us relationally.

Over time Charis and her son started attending our church and hanging out more and more at our home. We offered to watch her son while she would do the very hard work of recovery from substance abuse by attending almost daily meetings. Not an easy task when you are a single mom, working long hours and have a son to care for. It was a joy to help in some small way and for me it felt like a way of giving back. I had grown up in a rather turbulent home myself and had always marveled at the countless, and I mean really hours upon hours, I had spent at a neighbor friends home and the impact that had had on my life. It was through this family I enjoyed some stability, was given the chance to be a kid having extreme amounts of memorable fun, saw healthy family life role-modeled  and most significantly it was through this family that this Jewish kid came to know Jesus as her Lord and Savior. And I wondered if perhaps I was being called to open my heart and home in a similar way to Charis and her son Adam*.

Well this February Charis asked if we might be willing to home to her son more long term while she went and got the help she needed after a succession of relapses. She chose a program called Place of Promise which is a residential home our church helped start which "seeks to help those hurting, lost, and broken to choose and find life, healing and wholeness."

And so for the last 5 months our hearts and home has been opened to Adam and that has been both incredibly challenging and incredibly life changing all at the same time. Challenging because four children is a lot more than three I have learned. Naively I thought "What's one more?" Challenging because this child, like my own children has needs, only more so given the instability of his life the last few years. Challenging because my own kids felt displaced and wrestled with the time they were losing with Garrett and I, not the least of which were the many hours that were spent on the phone or via email caring for Adam's needs educationally, relationally with family and friends and therapeutically.  Also challenging because it ignited so many triggers of Garrett and my own childhood, both having grown up in a home with a parent who was an alcoholic. But most of all challenging because it surfaced so much of our own sin, we are far more in need of sanctification and change than we thought we were! It's said that what we are really made of comes to the surface under pressure and what surfaced was not always that pretty.

But lest you think we regret the decision we made to care for "the A man" nothing could be further from the truth. I want to believe we have had the opportunity to significantly impact this boys life and he in turn has impacted ours. I truly believe Adam has been shaped and molded in a significant way living with us. He has experienced healthy family life and that is huge. Garrett has been the most amazing male role model to him and for Adam that was very much something he needed. I have to smile at the mannerisms of Garrett he has even picked up. It's been stable, fun and welcoming here. He has seen faith lived out. He has eaten well balanced meals at a table with family while talking about our day. He has been able to just be a kid without the worries of the world on his shoulders, he even had the normalcy of bickering with "siblings". He learned about structure and discipline, doing chores and that getting out of them is not an option (and believe me he tried). Cleaning our bunnies' cage was on the top of that list.

He experienced the loud of when a bunch of active 10 year old boys hang out here for play dates and sleepovers.  Amazingly he stopped completely escaping in books! He sang and laughed here. Goofed around and told jokes. He is a different child to the one who walked into our front door five months ago. Adam is changed.

And Adam has changed us! We are not the same people we were five months ago either! Each one of us. We have grown in empathy. We have had the chance to face and address some significant weaknesses. We have seen the devastation and brokenness of substance abuse and find ourselves grateful for God's redemptive work in our own lives as children with a similar background whose lives have not perpetuated that cycle and for the most part, minus some foibles, we have it pretty together. And for that I am MOST grateful!

Tomorrow marks our farewell of caring for "the A man".  He will be reunited with his mom. In fact he will be reunited with a "new" mom because she is not the same either. These past five months have radically changed her too! It's a miracle and I saw and experienced it with my own eyes this weekend when I set eyes on her. The hard work is far from over for her but I truly believe the stronghold this addiction has had on Charis for 30 years has been broken.

I got to spend a wonderful few hours reconnecting with my friend as we sat by a river and she got to share about the transformation that has been occurring in her life.We marveled at God's goodness in the amazing opportunity that has been extended to her and her son to start a new life for themselves.

As I pulled away from what will be Charis and Adam's new home on a gorgeous sunny summer day looking at the beautiful roses that were in full bloom in their garden a thought occurred to me.  I reflected upon the drive I had taken 5 months earlier in the dead of winter just hours before a significant blizzard when there was no place to park as I dropped Charis off because of the mountains and mountains of snow and where on the drive home I  got into a minor accident as I lost control of my car and it skidded into a side walk. And as I reflected upon that dark winter day it occurred to me metaphorically that when I brought Charis to this program 5 months ago it was the dead of winter in her life and soul too but now SUMMER HAS COME!!!

PS: For my praying friends out there I do know that Charis and Adam still need prayer in the days, weeks and months ahead. Please pray especially for Charis as she readies herself to welcome Adam back, for her as she continues the hard work of recovery and for our sweet Adam as he adjusts to a new life with new neighbors across the fence and a new school. Please pray for that wonderful new beginning that awaits them. “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)

* Names have been changed but I specifically chose the name Charis for my friend which means favor or grace in Hebrew. And this is based on a special revelation she received from the Lord letting her know He loves her dearly and His favor rests upon her.

It's a hard knock life for us .... or is it?

"It's the hard-knock life for us

Empty belly life!
Rotten smelly life!
Full of sorrow life!
No tomorrow life!

It's the hard-knock life!"

From the catchy tune in Annie about the less than ideal life of an orphan girl. And it truly was a hard-knock life for Annie and her friends. And lately hardship and struggle has been the theme of a lot of my leisure reading. Our favorite homeschooling subject, by a long shot is history and this year we are studying American History.  I am finding myself more engaged than ever before. In part, because having grown up in Namibia, I never studied American History in school. I can tell you a little about Jan van Riebeck, Bartholomeu Dias and Simon van der Stel, with an emphasis on a little. (Lord help my kids if they remember as little history as I do from my childhood, but who am I kidding :-)

But whether or not my kids will remember much of their countries' history, I am learning a lot about the founding of the country I now call "home".  Just this month, aided by our flight to and from the west coast, I read two great books and watched the riveting movie 12 years a slave, all of which I want to recommend to you; but I also want to process with you the concept of HARDSHIP.

My first read was a fascinating biography of William Bradford, the pilgrims first governor. This man was met with incredible rejection and loss from a very early age which without a doubt shaped him and prepared him for the incredible task that awaited him when he set foot on American soil. How he kept that fledgling and fragile community moving forward and grounded in their Christian faith as their governor for 31 long and unbelievably hard years is dumbfounding. I am not a quitter but I tell you I would have thrown in the towel!


 My second read was  Carry on Mr Bowditch, a #1 bestselling historical children's novel, which is based on the real life of Nathaniel Bowditch.  This extremely bright kid who is destined for Harvard

gets his dream stolen from him due to the hardships of growing up just post the American Revolution. Life was not only hard economically but beyond that, death was part of every day life and Nat faces the tragedy of no less than 8 deaths in his family in a reasonably short time period. And while we may think what a morbid book for children to read, the fact is that that was reality for children back then.  And it shaped them in a powerful way.

William Bradford and Nathaniel Bowditch, along with countless other children in history, were molded at a very young age by death, suffering and hardship. It made them the incredible people they became. They were shaped by it in ways, that it seems, nothing else could have shaped them. It made them movers and shakers. It made them people of incredible character.  And they were used to change the world.

And so I find myself pondering this very fact. You see life is very good for me and my children. We honestly lack no good thing. And don't get me wrong, I am not wishing death, suffering and hardship upon us. Who would?! But I am just wondering about this life of so called privilege we lead and what it's not teaching us.  This easy life where we talk of hardship in terms of the LONG Boston winter.

Or where the biggest hardship my son has faced lately is the fact that his basketball team lost in the first round of the playoffs today. And it's a rough one for the sport loving fanatic that he is. And I feel the loss too. I am seriously bummed! The team is made of a bunch of great kids and they have an awesome couch, in none other than Zach's daddy :-)  But still it's only a  game and life remains pretty peaches.


So I ask....  if it's not a hard knock life for us then what is shaping and molding us to be movers and shakers, the way hardship did for people like Bradford and Bowditch?


PS:  feel free to engage in the comment section below or on facebook.

When the natural inclination is to take

It's Valentines Day and while images of pink and red hearts meet the eye everywhere you look, my mind is thinking about a different kind of heart today. The heart in servant-hearted. Come to find out that's not even a word. But it is in my vocabulary. And it's something I very much want my kids to grasp. That in a world where the natural inclination is to take, I want them to give. I want them to be generous, to have an open hand and to be thinking of others more than themselves. It's quite uncanny how unnatural this really is. And maybe its just me but I feel like this world is becoming more and more self orientated.

My sister in law, who works as a volunteer coordinator for a non-profit that helps people who have reached rock bottom shares that finding volunteers in my age demographic (age 30-45) is the hardest. Her most faithful volunteer core are the elderly, but their capacity is more limited and many of them are passing on. And then high school and college students. And yes we can argue that maybe these people have more time on their hands that we do. But, let's be honest, we find plenty of time to do the things we care about. And maybe it's time to care a little more about those who need it.

                                                      Maybe  it's time to have a heart?

Last week in my blog on the power of role models I spoke of our kids needing good role models. And so I find myself thinking that if I really want my children to care about giving more than taking, then I need to make sure that I am modeling that for them.


It's been far too long since we volunteered our time at a local soup kitchen. And yet my kids still remember the fun it was decorating cookies one afternoon for Saturday's Bread, engaging afterwards in conversation with the guests as they waited in line. Each ones' clothing and facial lines telling a story that did not need much imagination to figure out.  A story probably not too unlike Jessica's from my recent blogpost.  And in those 10 minutes engaging in conversation (many of whom we just

shared a hello and warm smile with) opened the door for much discussion on the car ride home. We had just been studying the Great Depression, but no words in a history book could have helped my kids grasp the reality of hardship as much as those 3 hours did that Saturday afternoon.

And so I find myself thankful that today on this Valentines Day, with the luxury of time on our vacation, we get to join my sister in law at her dining hall to help feed 300-500 hungry guests, starving for both food and love and we get to pass out the ever so cute cards and cookies my kids have been lovingly making.

Here's to embracing the heart of servant-hearted.

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

  "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20)