Summer has come in more ways than one

This is officially the first week of summer and after a hard winter here in Boston I have to tell you I am ready for this new season that is upon us!  And it's a new season in more ways than one for us.

On Saturday my trusted minivan took me along a path I had traveled 5 months ago to  Place of Promise to visit someone who has become extremely dear to me by the name of Charis.* I first met Charis and her son two summer's ago when she moved in next door.   Our sons are the same age, just 10 days apart in fact, and it was through them we actually met since they were hanging over our mutual fence chatting. Charis came over to introduce herself to us and right away recognized Garrett. She had been impacted by his ministry at the spirituality group he leads in the substance abuse unit of St Elizabeth's Hospital where he serves weekly as a volunteer in what is probably the highlight of his ministry each week. And as that connection was made and Charis inquired about where Garrett is a pastor I wondered what God might have in store for us relationally.

Over time Charis and her son started attending our church and hanging out more and more at our home. We offered to watch her son while she would do the very hard work of recovery from substance abuse by attending almost daily meetings. Not an easy task when you are a single mom, working long hours and have a son to care for. It was a joy to help in some small way and for me it felt like a way of giving back. I had grown up in a rather turbulent home myself and had always marveled at the countless, and I mean really hours upon hours, I had spent at a neighbor friends home and the impact that had had on my life. It was through this family I enjoyed some stability, was given the chance to be a kid having extreme amounts of memorable fun, saw healthy family life role-modeled  and most significantly it was through this family that this Jewish kid came to know Jesus as her Lord and Savior. And I wondered if perhaps I was being called to open my heart and home in a similar way to Charis and her son Adam*.

Well this February Charis asked if we might be willing to home to her son more long term while she went and got the help she needed after a succession of relapses. She chose a program called Place of Promise which is a residential home our church helped start which "seeks to help those hurting, lost, and broken to choose and find life, healing and wholeness."

And so for the last 5 months our hearts and home has been opened to Adam and that has been both incredibly challenging and incredibly life changing all at the same time. Challenging because four children is a lot more than three I have learned. Naively I thought "What's one more?" Challenging because this child, like my own children has needs, only more so given the instability of his life the last few years. Challenging because my own kids felt displaced and wrestled with the time they were losing with Garrett and I, not the least of which were the many hours that were spent on the phone or via email caring for Adam's needs educationally, relationally with family and friends and therapeutically.  Also challenging because it ignited so many triggers of Garrett and my own childhood, both having grown up in a home with a parent who was an alcoholic. But most of all challenging because it surfaced so much of our own sin, we are far more in need of sanctification and change than we thought we were! It's said that what we are really made of comes to the surface under pressure and what surfaced was not always that pretty.

But lest you think we regret the decision we made to care for "the A man" nothing could be further from the truth. I want to believe we have had the opportunity to significantly impact this boys life and he in turn has impacted ours. I truly believe Adam has been shaped and molded in a significant way living with us. He has experienced healthy family life and that is huge. Garrett has been the most amazing male role model to him and for Adam that was very much something he needed. I have to smile at the mannerisms of Garrett he has even picked up. It's been stable, fun and welcoming here. He has seen faith lived out. He has eaten well balanced meals at a table with family while talking about our day. He has been able to just be a kid without the worries of the world on his shoulders, he even had the normalcy of bickering with "siblings". He learned about structure and discipline, doing chores and that getting out of them is not an option (and believe me he tried). Cleaning our bunnies' cage was on the top of that list.

He experienced the loud of when a bunch of active 10 year old boys hang out here for play dates and sleepovers.  Amazingly he stopped completely escaping in books! He sang and laughed here. Goofed around and told jokes. He is a different child to the one who walked into our front door five months ago. Adam is changed.

And Adam has changed us! We are not the same people we were five months ago either! Each one of us. We have grown in empathy. We have had the chance to face and address some significant weaknesses. We have seen the devastation and brokenness of substance abuse and find ourselves grateful for God's redemptive work in our own lives as children with a similar background whose lives have not perpetuated that cycle and for the most part, minus some foibles, we have it pretty together. And for that I am MOST grateful!

Tomorrow marks our farewell of caring for "the A man".  He will be reunited with his mom. In fact he will be reunited with a "new" mom because she is not the same either. These past five months have radically changed her too! It's a miracle and I saw and experienced it with my own eyes this weekend when I set eyes on her. The hard work is far from over for her but I truly believe the stronghold this addiction has had on Charis for 30 years has been broken.

I got to spend a wonderful few hours reconnecting with my friend as we sat by a river and she got to share about the transformation that has been occurring in her life.We marveled at God's goodness in the amazing opportunity that has been extended to her and her son to start a new life for themselves.

As I pulled away from what will be Charis and Adam's new home on a gorgeous sunny summer day looking at the beautiful roses that were in full bloom in their garden a thought occurred to me.  I reflected upon the drive I had taken 5 months earlier in the dead of winter just hours before a significant blizzard when there was no place to park as I dropped Charis off because of the mountains and mountains of snow and where on the drive home I  got into a minor accident as I lost control of my car and it skidded into a side walk. And as I reflected upon that dark winter day it occurred to me metaphorically that when I brought Charis to this program 5 months ago it was the dead of winter in her life and soul too but now SUMMER HAS COME!!!

PS: For my praying friends out there I do know that Charis and Adam still need prayer in the days, weeks and months ahead. Please pray especially for Charis as she readies herself to welcome Adam back, for her as she continues the hard work of recovery and for our sweet Adam as he adjusts to a new life with new neighbors across the fence and a new school. Please pray for that wonderful new beginning that awaits them. “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)

* Names have been changed but I specifically chose the name Charis for my friend which means favor or grace in Hebrew. And this is based on a special revelation she received from the Lord letting her know He loves her dearly and His favor rests upon her.