On Letting Go

This morning our home and my heart feels a tad empty. We just dropped Zach off for his first 2-week away camp. He was ready but I am not sure I am. It feels like a rite of passage.  Going away by yourself at 10 years old (well OK almost 11). And for that long with no opportunity for me to even check in? No contact at all for 14 days! Half a month!! What mom even agrees to that? The packing list suggested writing supplies but this mamma knows her boy and that paper and pen would be untouched and would be taking a nice round trip. So there will be no calls and no mail, no news at all. But be assured my son, I will be here; waiting and praying with anticipation.

And while I know we will miss one another, I am actually really excited for him. This is a dream camp for Zach.  It's called Summer's Best Two Weeks  and their mission is to build Christian character through competitive athletics. Two weeks of soccer, football, basketball, volleyball, hockey, ultimate frisbee, octathlon, swim meets, canoe meets, track meets and let's not forget basketball. All these will be taught by college athletes in a two week long "friendly" rivalry between the Galations and Romans. A group of about 300 kids! By a lake in what looks like the most beautiful surroundings. 

There will also be sailing, a zipline, kayaking, a high ropes course, trampoline, a climbing wall, a blob, archery and an overnight wilderness trip thrown in. Can you say a slice of heaven for my sports fanatic son. And can you say "I think this kid will have no problem falling asleep every night, even if he is not in his own bed and is sleeping with a cabin full of kids all (but one) of whom he will meet for the first time today." And at home there will be an empty bed and a quieter home and we will miss you! But be assured my son, I will be here waiting and praying with anticipation.


My hope is that my son will not only have a blast but that his character and faith will be formed in a significant way. He is right at that age where what mom has to say is not always met with all the acceptance I would like. And that's part of entering the preteen years and I get that. But I care too much about who he is becoming to not want others to have voice and influence in his life. So I am thankful for the camp counselors he will have, who will be a new voice of influence. And I take encouragement from the fact that some fine people I know who, unlike me grew up in church, would say that Summer Camp had the biggest impact on their character and faith formation. And so there may be a little less influence I now have on my son, but he is walking in the footsteps of some wonderful godly people I desire my son to emulate.  So while I may not be able to always talk to my son about God and faith, I can always talk to God about my son and his faith. And so be assured my son, I will be here waiting and praying with anticipation.

And I realize this is not only a rite of passage for my boy it's one for me too. I am learning what it means to start to let go.
 
Just yesterday we got to spend the 4th of July with friends who have a little baby. A sweet little boy. And as I watched my friend nurture and care for her little one I smiled. She was tucking him into his stroller hoping he would go down for the night so that we could enjoy the fireworks together and just watching her in action made me smile. She kept a very close watch on him making sure he was falling asleep.   Once asleep she blocked those tiny delicate ears from the loud bangs of the fireworks and I smiled once more. I smiled because all the while I was having flashbacks of when my boy was a baby but I also smiled because here I was, trying to get that now big boy, to snuggle in my arms just a bit and watch the fireworks together before our fortnight apart when there would be no tucking him in at night and where I would not be there to protect his ears from hearing things he ought not to be hearing, BUT ......

know this my precious son, we may be apart and I may be learning what it means to start to let go, but you can be assured I will always be here for you, waiting and praying in anticipation for the man you are in the process of becoming!

My soon to be 11 year old son!

Yours truly at the same age!

Zach holding his baby cousin Salo