Three's a charm ... well not always

Three's a charm for sure and by three I am talking about our third born, Ilana Rose.  We are so incredibly thankful that God in His foreknowledge had the upper hand. You see, just when we had decided we were not having any more kids, I was ALREADY pregnant.  So much for this mom thinking she "runs the show."

And are we ever so grateful for our third (and dare I say) last born! We could not imagine our life without her. She brightens our world in so many ways and our life would be FAR less colorful without her. She is incredibly funny and goofy and makes us laugh a lot.

Her dress code is far from ordinary. She really has a hippie edge and funnily enough she makes it work. It just seems to fit her personality.  She is really affectionate with the best hugs, kisses and snuggles any mom could ask for.

And she is outgoing to the max, there is not a shy bone in this girl. She recently walked up to our book keeper, Cynthia, at church, who she had never seen before and had a little conversation with her. Here is the account in Cynthia's words:

"I met your daughter, Ilana, today.  What a sweet, curious little girl.  She told me that if I had any questions about the church, just ask her. She said "I have been here for long, long time!  All my life"  Too, too cute!"



I guess I would be remiss if I did not say she also has a strong personality. She leads and others follow. And happily so. 

At a recent birthday party the parents hosting said it was a breeze. 

"Ilana ran the show, she had all the kids dancing and grooving. She would tell them all what to do and the amazing thing is the whole bunch of 4 year olds' actually did what she told them to do!"

Yep that about sums up our little charmer. 

She really is a charmer, and we honestly adore her, but parenting her is not a piece of cake by any stretch of the imagination. She really would much rather parent us. And she tries. Often.

A few weeks ago we came to the sudden realization (and yes it was shockingly sudden) that our Lani needed to be reigned in a little. She had been given far too much rope lately. And our charmer was starting to look, well .....  a little less charming.

I had this aha mommy moment we as moms sometimes have, when I realized how much free reign Ilana had been getting on what she watched through the "wonder" of netflix. Zach and Daliya just did not have that "luxury." We owned a few kiddy DVD's, the likes of Veggie Tales the always positive, "Can we fix it? YES we can!" Bob the Builder and then the ever so cute Thomas and Friends, a show that personifies trains and teaches what it means to have character and grit. Just today I found out it was written by a pastor and his son. No wonder I liked the show so much :-)  Can you tell I am getting all nostalgic? And aside from these trusted "friends" there were a few library rentals (which were normally too scratched up anyways) and that was pretty much it. And it served us just fine. 

But here we are just 4 years later with the video on demand world of netflix and we have entered a whole new era. We really have! Ilana has hundreds of options literally at her finger tips. And yes we do have her profile set for young children but still the options are limitless. And while some moms will sit on a couch watching with their kids (I salute you moms) that's just not me. Video on demand also has no beginning and end. With my older two when the DVD (which was always conveniently 30-40 minutes) was over it was over. Short and sweet!

And so for Ilana, what started as Dora the Explorer and Strawberry Shortcake moved on, at the touch of her little finger, to a whole bunch of other shows without me being fully aware.  She began watching "My little Pony," and with it's cute title and bright purple and pink ponies it seemed harmless enough. But my ears perked up recently when I heard some lines in the show that made me question how harmless it really was. There was a level of defiance, aggression and sassyness that just did not sit right with me. I asked Ilana to flip to another show. The name of that show, "Bratz". Well need I say more? What's the deal with adding a "z" to the word that makes it sound more charming?

And so that day, with my aha moment of realization, that there may just be a connection between these shows and my girl losing her charm and beginning to become a brat herself (without the z) we said good bye to "My Little Pony" and "Bratz". We also pressed the pause button on Netflix all together. 

I pulled out our trusted "friends" and would you know we have seen a DRAMATIC change in our girl in less than 2 weeks!

I am so thankful to have my sweet little girl back.  And so very thankful for those little aha moments in mommyhood that are invariably quite spot on. So for today I am embracing my charming little Lani Loo. I love you my third born, more than you will ever know. Three really is a charm!

 

When perspective walks through your front door

This week I was all geared up to write about the challenges of reigning in a third born who has been given way too much rope lately, when a little interruption to our week gave me pause and the opportunity to take my eyes off my own family and direct it towards another family, a family made up of a single mom and her gorgeous little baby girl.

I first met Jessica and baby Hope* 6 months ago when they were living at a shelter close to our church. Jessica had come in to see if our church would be able to help her and the other moms at the shelter with much needed diapers and clothing for their children. Through an anonymous donation of $1000 we were able to do just that! Jessica shared her story with me at the time, and while she did not go into details at the time, she had been a victim of severe domestic violence. The serious scars on her body from knife wounds spoke louder than her words to me that day. And my heart broke.

Since that day when Jessica walked through the doors of our church we have remained in touch on occasion.  Not in person but via phone since she needed to move to a shelter a distance away. But through every interaction she has surprised me. By her level of care for the other moms in her shelter, her never abusing the kindness of our church with additional requests, the tears that flow each time I pray for her, but most of all for the extraordinary love she has for her little girl. There is something sacred about it. Something set apart, something different.

This Wednesday might have been like any other Wednesday for me: morning routine of getting kids ready for the day, butting heads with Lani yet again, about getting dressed or was it about food (I forget, but it always seems to be one of the two), homeschooling the older kids with at least one squabble over something (usually math, I really don't like teaching math!), rushing off to pick up Lani from preschool.  Some of you had a similar Wednesday and the rest of you probably remember those days. Longingly I know. And just as my Wednesday was beginning to look like any other Wednesday I heard a ping. The ping of a text on my phone.  It was Jessica, texting me to say she was in the area and would love to get together.

As Jessica sat in the same chair she had sat in in my church office just 6 months earlier it was shockingly clear she had had a set back. And this time the scars, both physical and emotional, were not old scars, there were new wounds. And there was no hiding it. Wearing an extra long sleeved shirt she was hiding the previous wounds, making room for this new one. This time on her face. And if my heart broke the first time, it doubly broke this time. Teared flowed. How is this even possible!

We met briefly since that's all the time both of us had. I dug around the church finding some diapers, wipes and some clothing. I handed her a gift card to a grocery store, it's relevance questionable, since where she is living in so incredibly remote from anything or anyone. We hugged, cried, I spoke a brief moment to her domestic violence advocate and then parted ways.

As the kids and I drove home I was processing out loud that there had to be more we could do for this hurting mom and her sweet little girl. Didn't God say we are to "care for the widow and the orphan"? For crying out loud, (no pun intended) there had to be more we could do for her than the measly offering I had just passed along!!!!  And then it occurred to me, it may not be much, but what if we invited them to spend the rest of the day with us. And so we did! And they said yes!

I can tell you this Wednesday afternoon was not like any other Wednesday afternoon.  My girls played with that baby girl all afternoon to their hearts delight. And Jessica said it was the first time in 4 months that Hope had engaged with children and played! She squealed and laughed and my girls got to play "doll" and were in heaven.  Jessica and I connected as she shared, with the luxury of time, her whole story. And with words like: "sexual- abuse,  loser of a dad, dropping out of high school, needing to work to feed the family, heroine, I made mistakes, pimp, alias names, methadone, he will not stop until I am dead" I caught a glimpse of a world I know NOTHING about. And it's sobering.  I had heard a couple people in the know speak of "sex trafficking along the 128 corridor in Massachusetts" and that it was more serious than most other parts of the US. But hearing about it is one thing, having a victim share her horrifying story in your living room is a whole different ball of wax!!!!

Perspective walked through my front door this Wednesday and I am not quite sure what to do about it. I know sitting in ignorance in my comfy home with my latte doing nothing about it is not an option. But what to do? Well that is a question I will be wrestling with. For now I will do the one thing I know I can always do, pray. Pray for Jessica and Hope and reach out to them, believing that change happens one life at a time. Perspective walked through my front door this week and I had a rude awakening!

PS: This week I am boldly praying for a safe haven for Jessica and Hope. After dropping them off at their "home" this Wednesday night I know one thing, they cannot keep living where they are living!

PPS: This week I also watched a very powerful documentary that aired live on PBS called a path appears. Take a look at the trailer.

* Names have been changed for the protection of those involved (I don't know much about sex trafficking but this much I do know)

How do you transform a Namibian princess?

It's the weekend and time for some reflections on our week. In full disclosure, part of the reason I am blogging is because I am mindful of how often I tend to the negative. I really do. Complaining comes all too easily and it effects my life. It is not that pleasant to be around negative people and I DO NOT want to be one of them! And I certainly do not want to pass this tendency on to my kids.  I want to see and celebrate the good in life. Smell the roses. And choose to see the glass half full.

I believe that blogging about all the amazing things in my life might just offer me pause to adjust my thinking. Now don't get me wrong, I do not intent to fake it. That's just not me.  Faking is a lie and I am not about to lie to you.

Much of my inspiration for blogging comes from Ann Voskamp, a fellow homeschooling mamma. And while she hardly ever writes about that part of her life it's at the very fiber of her writing and photos. You see having kids is filled with wonder and beauty and adventure but let's be honest, it's also filled with a lot of mess and bickering and sass. And if you homeschool then you have your kids home that much more to do all that messing and bickering and sassing. And so I guess Amy sees the value of drawing attention to the beauty of it all and counting her blessings.

I first "met" Ann Voskamp in the kitchen of my special friend Shoshanna Pucci. A kindred spirit for sure. She showed me this video by Amy





and I just burst into tears. And through sobs I said, "But how?!" How do you choose joy in the mess and chaos of life. 

So of course I bought Ann Voskamp's New York bestselling book "One thousand Gifts" to figure out how. And it's real simple.   Making a choice to see the beauty in the midst of the mess of life. Opening your eyes to the amazing in your life.

And so that's what I am choosing to do daily. And sharing that beauty in the midst of my mess through blogging may just mean that one day I don't have to choose to see the glass half full anymore, it may just come a little more naturally.

So this week I wanted to share my beauty is the midst of my mess. And it comes by way of a creative writing piece that Daliya (now in 3rd grade) worked on this week. The assignment was for her to take the story of the princess and the pea and make it her own. Here it is for you to see (and I did not fix her typos :-)

 

 

The Real Princess

There was a handsome prince who was not just looking for an ordinary princess but a real princess. One stormy night a wet dirty princess knocked on the palace gate. The king went and brought the princess in. The caring queen wanted her son to have a beautiful real princess. The queen set up a really soft comfortable bed for the princess but she also put a pea underneath all the matrices and blankets.

When the princess woke up the queen asked, “How did you sleep?” “I slept terrible, there was a really lumpy loud thing underneath me.” Now the Queen knows that the princess is a real princess because how do you feel just one tiny pea underneath all those blankets and matrices. Then they eat a royal breakfast with pancakes, hot coco, tea, coffee and every thing you can imagine.

The queen told the princess that she had put a pea under the princesses’ pillow. To see if she would sleep bad because of it. And because she felt it the queen announced “LETS CELIBRATE! We will have a party and order a bunch of pizzas and dance!”

THE MORAL IS TO NOT MARRY A PRETTY PRINCESS BUT A THOUTFULL PRINCESS.

Great moral I'd say :-) Mind you Zach's was equally entertaining, he decided the story was a touch boring and needed to be spiffed up a bit and so his was called "The Princess and the Thorn" and it was all about a Namibian princess. Little does he know how much of a princess seeking transformation his mom really is :-)

I'm finally blogging

So it's only taken me this long to figure out how to blog. But here I am. Hi blogger world :-) What's in the name? Well I am at heart a Mamma from Namibia. And trek? Well it's one of those Namibian words that American's actually know, albeit they relate it more to Star Trek than anything else. But it works :-)

So what does this Mamma have to share today?


Well we have just gotten through our first week back at school after a LONG break. And honestly it's been a dream week. We all actually missed school. And my kids were eager to get back. Especially after reading an amazing book called "Johnny Tremain" over our break which wet our appetite for the American History period we are currently studying - life just prior to the American Revolution when America decided just a few hundred years before Namibia did that they were done being ruled by the British.

Enjoy these photos of our first week back which captures life as a homeschooling family. Just  slightly different to my experience as a kid growing up in Namibia. How many differences do you notice?

Zach's favorite breakfast - yogurt parfait with fresh strawberries and some whipped cream    (and yes it's only been the coldest week in Boston's history.)